Henry evaluates life after Xander and finds it lacking

My words of wisdom for the day are "Don't even try to compete with a four year old in the fun department". There are many things that, as an adult, you probably do much better than a 48 month old. Some of them matter to a two year old (such as carefully following the food mandates of the day, lugging them around to all of their playdates and providing an endless supply of binkies and sippy cups) and some of them don't (making a fabulous dry martini and mad stain removal skills come to mind). Regardless of how great a parent you think you are, however, you will never ever out play a four year old.

You are thinking, Jessica you know not that of which you speak. I can play. I can get my crazy on with the best of the preschool bunch. Entertain THIS.

Just a brief consideration before diving head first into the fountain of youth:

For you, playing is an action. It has a beginning and an end. It has pauses and bathroom breaks and "let Mommy get another glass of Mommy juice".

To a four year old, playing is breathing. There are no time-outs (other than sleep which simply serves to wind the spring a little tighter). Crazy isn't a mindset or a psych-out, it just IS.

Whatever. Believe me or don't. It's your funeral (or at least dislocated fibula). But just be ready that after many hours of your best efforts as train conductor, baseball player, big hiding bear/monster/tiger thing, captain of sea-worthy boxes, run in circles until you almost puke-erator, your child will look at you and sadly, wistfully ask when he or she can next have a playdate with [name of favored four year old]. And you will sadly, wistfully lug your very old, very sore body to the couch with another glass of mommy juice and realize that your reign as the north star is over.